Or: what NOT to do on your day off. Especially if you are one of those busy moms, who have a never-ending to to list.
When my kids were very little self care meant for me to be cleaning the house without interruption. I used to take a day off from time to time to create space for all those chores that I couldn’t do in between my job and tending to the kids.
So my days with wonderful six free hours usually included: cleaning, doing laundry, making doctor’s appointments for the kids and defrosting the fridge. Maybe they also included a cup of coffee in silence but I don’t remember. What I do remember is doing all those things in a hurry because I also wanted to go on a bike ride to get to know the neighborhood. It was my day off after all and I wasn’t able to ride a bike with the kids. I wanted to do something busy moms never get to do – something for myself.
Also squeeze some educational stuff in
I also planned to take the eldest to the theater as long as the youngest was still in kindergarten. It was one of those opportunities to spend time alone with the one who was always jealous of her little sister. She wanted her mommy only for herself. And also to invest in education because theater is crucial for child development! I always wanted to show my kids all the great stuff that this world has to offer. Years later it turned out that both kids hated theater. Damn.
So I put some bowls with hot water into the fridge to make it defrost quicker and jumped onto my bike. The houses and streets flashed by me as I was pedaling my way through the neighborhood very fast. All the cleaning had taken up too much time, as usual. Back home I took the bowls out of the fridge and dropped them, spilling the water over my hands. It was still hot enough to burn but I didn’t have time to take care of that – I needed to rush to the theater.
Even cleaning in silence can be self care
Going on a bike ride turned out to be the most stressful part of this day. But I wanted to do at least one thing that I didn’t do on an everyday basis, a problem that all busy moms face.
A lot of people would say that days like this had nothing to do with self care. From today’s point of view, when my kids are older and I generally have more time to myself, I would agree. But back self care meant cleaning without interruption and taking the eldest to the theater. Sometimes even this can feel like a gulp of fresh air.
P.S. It wasn’t until some years later when real self care suddenly started to work for me.